Archive | February, 2014

Everything just stopped….

5 Feb

It was a crisp September morning in 2007. Out of commission because of a knee injury. My in-laws were over to help out with my young ones. Husband at work, oldest daughter at school. 11:10AM….just like that, my life was changed forever. I live in a single family home and I had a rental property next door. We were renting to college boys. The loudest noise I’ve ever heard shook me to the bone, shook my house. Look out window….see fire….and another explosion. The house was gone! Forever! Life would never be the same. Shock! Horror! Unbelievable! Why is this happening to me, my family? What have I done? Filled with anxiety, pain, sadness, depression. I don’t know what to do. I just want someone to come out of the sky and swoop me away. The boys, the boys! They are in there! Did they make it out? Cell phone ringing like crazy. I can’t hear, I can’t think. I’ve been evacuated from my home. Things are still live and another explosion may happen. What happened? There were utility workers working outside of the house. Something would be hit as they were digging the area. I just could not believe this was happening to us! It was surreal. Other than some cuts and bruises, traumatized, the college boys were all ok. It would take almost five years to reach a settlement. We were in financial ruin. I was left mentally disabled. I would eventually in those five years to reach an agreement, be hospitalized, diagnosed with bipolar and PTSD. Of course depression and anxiety were there as well. It affected all of us in different ways. It was the first house my husband and I had bought together. I also had some personal items stored over there. Things that can never be replaced. And the time lost! We are a close family but it’s almost like we stopped living.

I am finally coming to terms with it, kind of. It’s not renting as much space in my head as it used to. I think this is the first time I am writing my most tragic life experience.