Lead Apron

30 Nov

Everything seems like such an effort these days. I feel like I have a lead apron draped over me. You know, those ones they put on you before an X-ray. Eating, showering, going to the gas station, groceries shopping, taking my meds. It’s all so exhausting. I’m overwhelmed and I really don’t know what to do. So I sit here, midnight(est), ‘smoking’ my vapor cig and wondering if I should just go to bed….I’m tired, but not really. I don’t want the dreams tonight. The fear, anxiety, the ‘what’s happening moments’. I need my frickin’ mind to slow the hell down!! Ugh!!

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